9)

the subject blows off shaving

the subject finds new grey hairs that are not on his head

the subject cannot spend a moment of his waking hours not thinking of poetry, movies, sex and death

the subject enters the china shop and lives the cliché

the subject drinks two cups of coffee and then has to pee like a horse

the subject finds humor in the stupidest things forcing his wife to think he might be slightly retarded

the subject is pissed about the usual subjects found in the news and politics

the subject sometimes wants to perceive the world in a fuzzy way so he takes off his glasses

the subject drinks a birthday greetings bottle of wine

the subject wishes every day was halloween