Wednesday, September 07, 2005

in some half-assed way i knew what i wanted to be when i grew up at age 16: a writer. didn't know what kind of writer, and i sure as shit knew i wasn't gonna be a famous writer, but a writer just the same.

it started with fiction, weird, surrealistic crap about monsters and aliens, and there was the erotica, which i've given up, the writing of i mean, not the reading of it.

then i had a severe breakdown when i was 19. spent a year of my life pretty helpless, hardly able to go outdoors even. in my slow recovery i discovered john berryman, and shortly after that rimbaud who was, and remains still, a great influence. and it was all down hill from there.

i became a reader, a poet second, a reader first. and even tho i read a bunch of trash, still, i take my reading seriously. and i realized early that reading/writing will not probably advance me a career in anything. what it will do, and does, is guide my living. one might ask a poet how his/her job and family influence the poems. i ask, in all seriousness, how poems influence yr job and family.

often on my walks to and from work lines i've been working on mix with lines from other poets' texts all to the beat of whatever song is looped on the soundtrack in my head. which in turn affects my walking patterns, my rhythm, how i view traffic and so on. i think there is nothing special in that. we all live within language, and yr words, how you say them, how you write them, become part of how you live and work in yr daily jobs of being a human fucking being.

6 Comments:

At 8:52 AM, Blogger Alex Gildzen said...

this is lovely Richard. helps me know you better as a person & as a writer.

I'm so old now that I no longer separate my life from my writing because they are the same thing.

 
At 7:30 PM, Blogger Steve Caratzas said...

Ditto what alexg said. A very significant distinction, so eloquently rendered. Bravo.

 
At 10:12 PM, Blogger richard lopez said...

thank you both, steve and alex.

 
At 2:22 AM, Blogger jwg said...

I always wanted one of my friends to be a writer and i could be Dean moriarty (sp) or something like him only me. I would be the sidekick. I wanted to play bass. When i was 22 i began to write outside of school, and when i was in China, i really got to it, did as best i could, but it wasnt much. I wish i had those notebooks with me now (they are at my folks place), I'd post a few on my site. So in china it got serious. maybe when i was 24. it was just something i thought i was good at. have always been addicted to the rush when a poem turns into something that works

 
At 12:35 AM, Blogger Jean Vengua said...

Funny, that sort of thing doesn't happen to me much with poems or literature. But when I painted, the process influenced my way of seeing and experiencing things very much. I would become entranced by a fleck of color or a series of shadows on the pavement. I think I was a more relaxed, less neurotic person when I painted.

 
At 7:17 AM, Blogger jwg said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home